And then remember how ‘Can’t Say No’ got ‘unveiled’ and suddenly everyone realised that, actually, he’s not “THE NEXT JUSTIN BIEBER” at all but perhaps “THE NEXT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE” because ‘Can’t Say No’ is more ‘Sexyback’ than ‘Baby’ and Actual Justin Timberlake seems to prefer making average movies over brilliant pop anyway?
Well now Justin Bieber has ‘dropped’ his new tune ‘Boyfriend’, and now it would seem Justin Bieber is in fact “THE NEXT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE” because, actually, it’s quite slick’n'cool’n’FutureSexLoveSoundsish.
So what does that make Conor Maynard? Does he go back to being “THE NEXT JUSTIN BIEBER” so that Actual Justin Bieber can be “THE NEXT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE”? Or does Conor Maynard stay “THE NEXT JUST TIMBERLAKE” and, seeing as ‘Can’t Say No’ came about before ‘Boyfriend’, does Justin Bieber become “THE NEXT CONOR MAYNARD”? Or is that just total bollocks because Conor Maynard’s sales still stand at zero and Justin Bieber’s are on something like 848294 billion? Or can there be two “NEXT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKES”?
Or should we just get over the whole thing of labelling someone “THE NEXT…” so-and-so because “THE PREVIOUS…” so-and-so hasn’t had a name change and is in fact still “THE CURRENT…” so-and-so, even if they are favouring average movies over brilliant pop? And therefore is this whole ‘article’ just a tenuously strung-together mess with no actual point?
Oh fuck it, here’s ‘Boyfriend’. (Also, what the Contostavlos is ‘Swaggie’?)